If you are a single mom and you are wanting to date but you are scared as to how your child or children are going to act, this article can help you. You might wonder when and how you can introduce your love to your children, and you might worry about how they will react.
Introducing Your Date to Your Children
Many single parents wonder when they should introduce their kids to the person they are dating. The most important thing to decide is how committed you are to them and when this becomes obvious to your children, it is probably time.
Be true to yourself and know that not everyone that you date will be someone that you want to commit to. Once you reach the level of commitment that is beyond living a casual dating life, then you are ready to make the next move.
When you introduce your children to the person you are dating then there is a chance that they will become attached and vulnerable to that person. You need to make sure that you are planning on a long-term relationship or this will be unfair to your children.
If the relationship doesn’t last, it can be as painful for you as for your children to have that loss in their life.
Things to Ask When Dating
When you date and you have children, you need to ask yourself these questions:
- Can I imagine this person as part of our family? If so, then it is time to introduce your children.
- Do I see this relationship lasting for long-term? If no, do not let your children meet your partner at this time.
Talking to Your Children About Dating
Once you decide that you are in a serious relationship, you will need to talk to your children. You need to tell them how committed that you are to them.
Keep Them Calm
Kids often get fearful when someone else comes into their life. Do not let them be afraid and introduce them to the children before it gets too late.
Make sure that you understand and that your children understand that you aren’t asking them for permission, but you are just letting them know how serious that you are.
You want your children to know that you have plans in the future. Make sure you tell them that you love them and that you are committed to your family but that you want to bring someone else in.
Be honest with your children. Here are some other things you want to do:
Affirm the Children
Make sure that your children know that you love them the most. Have them write you a letter on what they want for the future.
Realize that your children might be afraid that you are going to give them up to be with your new partner.
Show Your Enthusiasm
Let your kids know why you want to be with that person and why dating is important to you.
When a parent gets into a new relationship it can be hard on the children. Once you learn to openly talk about things though, it can calm their mind and help them to know that things are going to be okay.
Once it is time to have a first meeting, you need to do something fun for the first meeting. Go somewhere where everyone can have fun, and everyone can be relaxed. Go to the pizza place or go to the mini golf course.
- Be yourself and do not act different. This could stress out the children.
- Include your children in the activities and keep the conversation going.
- Have something fun planned so that the children can see that good things can come.
Make sure that you are reassuring your kids that things are going to be okay. Let them know that you love them over anyone else and that you love them no matter what changes come in life. You always plan on including them and loving them.
Your children will see that when you bring someone else into the home that you are not taking away your love for them but that they have someone else new that they can include into their life and welcome into their family.