If you have been rejected or are crushing on someone who is far from available, you may want to know how to stop those feelings and move on for good from that person. This article will help.
While having feelings for someone that does not share them or is wholly unavailable is tough, it is what you do that matters. Understanding how to stop these feelings does not simply happen because you want them to stop, they tend to linger. Figuring out how to get rid of this burden has been problematic since the beginning of times. Feelings overwhelm, taking our attention and time from more important things. The good news is, you can stop them and move forward.
Logic and emotion rarely go hand in hand, but practicality can be an important first step. Why do you want to stop these feelings? It is likely because it is someone unavailable or bad for you. Remind yourself life will be happier and much more productive if you can move on. This is not a cure all, but it will help you move in the right direction. Look forward to the improvements in life that will occur if the feelings are put to rest.
The feelings are strong, so logic may not shut them own, but reminding yourself of what you are doing will keep you focused. When you notice you are obsessing or stalking them on social media, remind yourself this will not lead to a happy future. The why is just as important as the how in this case.
Stop the Feelings
Once you understand why you want the feelings to stop, you have focus and an end goal. Take the steps to let go of the feelings and move forward, without oppressive emotions.
Let All Your Feelings Out
If you try to stop feelings without letting them out first, then you are just shoving them down and they will resurface. While you cannot let them out with the person you secretly love, you can write them out and get rid of the paper when you are done. Try burning it once you write everything out to symbolize the end.
Accept the Reality
The reason we cannot let feelings go is we are holding out hope. We live in this fantasy world in which one day things will magically correct themselves. We even have fake conversations and fake lives in our minds. Come to peace with reality and the truth so you can let the feelings go.
Remove the Glasses
Remove those rose colored glasses and see your feelings without them. When we have romantic feelings, we see the person as without fault. We want to see the best, so we do. While this helps when in a relationship, it makes it hard to get over something from your dreams. Just like after a break-up we see all the bad that was in the relationship, we need to do the same for the crush. Look at them as anyone would, not as someone with a crush and find the negative. Think about these negative things to turn yourself off of the crush.
Sometimes, getting yourself busy with something else can help you move on. Focus on someone new that is available or find a hobby to keep yourself distracted. Even spending time with friends can get you out of your head and back to reality.
Friends provide a distraction, but so does making a commitment to a project in which you can see the process and final product. Staying productive can bring you back to reality and get you so busy you can process the feelings you have and let them go. Take time to volunteer at church, cleaning up a beach, or getting a second job. Then you can feel proud about what you are doing.
Social Media Clean Out
This should be one of the first things you do because it is so helpful. If you are Facebook friends, follow them on Twitter, or are attached in some other social media way, let them go. This is hard, but looking at new photos, pics of friends and family, is too hard.
If at all possible, avoid the person you are crushing on. Seeing them in person will bring up old feelings that you are trying to avoid. If you work together or run in the same friend group this can be tough, but do your best to limit time. Keep interactions brief and professional when they do occur.
If you need to rid yourself of feelings for someone, start dating someone new casually. Do not go into something serious on a rebound, but keep it casual and open letting others know you are just wanting to meet people at the moment. This will help you realize there are more fish in the sea and plenty of available options.
When you do start dating, seriously or otherwise, do not compare the new person to your crush. Everyone is unique and though we have all compare people at some point, it is not the way to get over a crush. Comparison is pointless. Focus on what makes the new person unique and special.
If you have tried everything else and still cannot let go, try seeing a therapist for individualized help. Get a professional to help you pinpoint emotions and where they originate. Hopefully you can stop them for good.
Learning how to stop having feelings for someone requires focus and determination, but there are always options.