When you ask an adult if their mom and dad loved them, chances are they will say “no.” According to a study, 80% of adults didn’t think that their parents loved them. Even though this is most likely untrue, the feeling of being loved can sometimes get buried under other feelings such as stress and anxiety.
All parents want to love their child and do and most of them want their child to feel good no matter what is going on in life. It doesn’t mean that you didn’t love your child that makes him or her feel that they aren’t appreciated, its that sometimes the struggles that parents are going to in their life can cause the child to put up barriers and feel unloved.
One study showed that parents need to show that they are delighted with their child in order to improve their mental health. Children want to be happy and when they are with their parents, they want to feel like they are accepted for who and what they are.
Since a parent has such a full plate, it can be hard to show pleasure when life is full of pleasures. It doesn’t mean the pleasure isn’t there, it just means that sometimes when a parent is caring for their kid, doing a job, paying bills, cleaning the house and making dinner that they forget to stop and show delight in their children.
Helping
In order to show love to your child and to help them to feel appreciated, you can do these things regularly to make your child feel loved. These are powerful ways that will let you develop strong relationships with your child and help them to feel appreciated and to be more affectionate. This will make you feel closer to them to and you will see them full of happiness.
Special You Time
One-way to do this is to let your child have you time. When you spend this time with them, let them decide what you are going to do. Let them be in charge of deciding what the day is going to bring and you just listen and follow along.
Let Them Know
Always let your child know when they are going to get the special you time. If it is after lunch, tell them it will be after lunch. Put away your phone and give them your undivided attention.
Set the Time
Always give them the time that they deserve. If you decide on 20 minutes, set the timer for 20 minutes. This will be 20 minutes that your child gets to be in charge. When the timer says its over, your child will be ready to move on with something else.
Do What They Want
No matter what your child decides to do, agree with it, as long as it is safe and not out of limits. Let them choose what games to play or what to watch on television, even if you are bored by it.
Be Loving
The best part of this is that you can show your child how much you love and appreciate them during this time. When you let the special you time be special to them and you, it will show them that you are pleased with them.
Laugh
If anything, that you do makes your kid laugh, do it again and again. Laughing is one way that your child knows that you are happy and the way that you know they are happy. Be their friend and let them have fun times. Offer your time to them with full joy and acceptance.
Repeat
No matter how busy you are, always give your child that special 20 minutes of you time each day. If life gets full, make room for it. Never replace that time with something else because it will be hurtful to your child if you do this.
Doing the you time will bring about a closeness that will bring your child happiness and will build your relationship with them.
Find what your child likes to do and do it. If your child likes to play Barbies, play Barbies, if they like to read, read a book together. Whatever they want to do is okay. Show them things that they can pick to do but put it up to them to decide.
If you find something that causes your child to laugh, suggest doing that on another day too and let them laugh until they can’t laugh anymore. Laugh with them and have fun.
Love
Children love special you time and it makes them feel special and accepted. Doing this can help them to have a better attitude and help them to listen and be attentive to you. Take this special time and make a habit of it.
What About Special You Time?
As you do special you time, you might find that it is hard to do. You might feel that you are not able to have the energy or the time for that special time with your child. You might not be able to give them attention that you feel that they need, and you might find that each time that you do it that you become distracted.
If you find that you are having a hard time paying attention to them, you might need someone to listen to you and to support you through this. It might even be helpful to get help from your other children.
Teenagers
If you have teenager children, let them get involved. Let them help you with the special you time and do a craft or play a game with your child. Your children will love spending time together and will grow a stronger bond amongst themselves.
Difficulties
One thing about special you time is that it is a place where children can say what they are feeling and these feelings can be understood. This time help your child to be able to express what they are feeling, and they can progress through life healthy.
Hurts
When you have special you time with your child, they will feel safe enough to show you when they are upset or when something has hurt their feelings. Pay attention to what they are telling you and if they need to talk about their past hurts, let them. Help them through any anger they have and let them feel lighter and happier.
Conclusion
Listen to your child and let them learn to be close to you. Getting close to you can allow them to feel secure and accepted. When your child feels safe enough to talk about their life and to share this special time with you, this can change their entire outlook on life now and in their future.