After being in a bad relationship, it can be hard to think about dating someone else, but the truth is, you can move on and you can find someone that is good for you and good for your kids.
If you are ready to date someone, you need to make sure that you are ready to take things slow and that you are willing to put yourself out there without fear.
Dating is different when you are a single parent and here are some things that you can do to work on if you are ready to date again:
Reassurance
No matter how old your children are, their mom or dad cannot be replaced by someone else. Tell your children that they are always going to be your first priority and no matter who you are dating, make sure that they do not try to replace the children’s parent.
If kids show negativity towards the new person, do not be upset with them but show them extra love, they are just nervous at the change.
Revolving Doors
You must be careful when you are going to expose your children to your new partner. You need to make sure that the person you are dating could possibly be marriage material. This can be scary, but you need to make sure that when you are ready to introduce your children to your new partner that you are in a long-term relationship.
Children should not be exposed to many people that are going to come and go in and out of your life. Make sure that you do not rush things and that you take a bunch of time to get to know the person before you introduce them to the children.
All Kids are Different
Kids are all different and some are easy to approach and love to meet new people while others are more cautious and sensitive.
Always consider the developmental age of your children and make sure that you are sensitive to them.
Fun and Caring
Even after your children meet your new partner, make sure that you allow your kids to get familiar with the person before you introduce them as your mate. Make sure that you accidently run into your new partner so that the kids can get to know them as friends.
Sleepovers
If you are not ready to marry your partner, then you need to be careful about having sleepovers with them. Make sure that you both agree to the boundaries and that there is no pressure for sleepovers with your new partner to happen.
Remember that you need to care about the emotions of your children first and foremost.
Discipline
You should never allow your new partner to give you advice on how you should raise the kids or allow them to give or take away things from your kids.
The parent has the main role and the step people in their life should not do punishments or take things away from them. This will just cause bitterness.
Make sure that you deal with the issues that your child has on your own so that they do not hate your new partner.
Other Parent
After a divorce, it is important that your ex is involved in the children’s life and you can do this by including them in things that you do with your new partner.
Do not throw your new love in the face of your ex but allow them to get along and get to know each other so that the children see that it is okay.
When your child gets used to the new person in your life, he or she might feel betrayed by the other parent. Make sure that you keep both parents involved so that this does not happen.
It is okay for your child to like your partner and to still love their parents. Make sure that you tell them that they can have both relationships and that they can be successful in how things go.
Relationship Time
There is no set time that you should wait before you start dating. Learn to trust your partner and learn to separate your emotions from your marriage. Make sure that you don’t wait a long time to find someone to hang out with and someone that makes you happy.
If you want to date someone then make sure that you understand that everyone has baggage. You will be vulnerable after you go through a breakup, but this doesn’t mean that you have to give up on finding love again.
Never feel that you have to rush things or be desperate because so many people jump into relationships prematurely because they are worried about being alone. Make good choices and know that all relationships have conflicts.
Do not fight in front of the kids because even if you disagree, your children do not need to see you always mad or angry with your ex.
Make sure that you date for a while before you get serious with someone and just relax and see what happens.
Remarrying
Being married again in a healthy and loving relationship is a good thing. If getting married is what makes you happy then do it.
Look at remarriage as a team effort and get your children to help you through the change while you help them.
When it is time for the wedding, let the kids help make decisions on what kind of foods will be served and what everyone will wear. Let them be part of the wedding and let them feel like they have a part in your life and the life of your new marriage.