Every opportunity in your life can be seen as a blessing or a hinderance. They choice is yours and yours alone. You can be sorry for what is happening or treat it as a valuable lesson. Guilt and shame are two common, but energetically heavy emotions. It can be quite difficult to heal these mindsets, but when you shed the shackles you can know a profound spiritual freedom. No longer are you a slave to the anxiety or fear that prevents you from being more engaged in your life. The emotions of shame and guilt are closely tied to fear and anxiety. One can experience shame when they are afraid or anxious for being expose as being a ‘fraud’ in life and guilty that can’t be more ‘worthy.’
When we feel guilt or shame, we are tethered to ruminations about our past actions. It is a misperception that our actions can be framed as ‘right’ or ‘wrong,’ and as such we are either rewarded or punished. These feeling perpetuate and build over time to the point one feels unworthy of wholeness and deserves to carry the burden throughout their lifetime.
Healing can only begin when one shows sincere kindness to themselves and release the weight of the past decision and allows for self-forgiveness. Begin by understanding you did the best you could with the tools you were provided. As your grow and learn you will discover new resources and insights that will better serve your decision-making process.
Look your past through the lens of empathy and forgiveness instead. When you release the yoke of guilt and shame you simultaneously heal past wounds will encourage new opportunities to be a soothing balm. If you feel shame for not living up to an expectation, look gently at your younger self and understand why they felt compelled to set up this ideal. Allow them to see this goal is no longer viable at this phase of life and instead cultivate a sense of excitement for the next chapter in your life. By releasing the same you affirm you curry more value in how you see yourself than how others perceive you. Society only experience you a fraction of the time, whereas you truly are your constant companion. By finding pride in yourself and your value you can help inspire others while knowing an inner peace.
“Empathy’s the antidote to shame. The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: me too.” — Brené Brown
Shame is an illusion your mind paints, but sets you up for failure when you can attain their ideal. The suffering one inflicts upon themselves is powerful and dramatic detours away from life’s purpose. The way shame endlessly builds within a person causes depression, anxiety and even physically illness. It becomes a person’s ‘new normal’ since they lack the independent context of what a healthy ego should feel like.
It’s internalized because one feel so hesitant to show their vulnerability and unworthy of healing. The sadness and fear are all consuming and a person becomes increasingly worried how others will view them, since society dictates people should be strong, confident and well-adjusted at all times. This perpetuates a cycle of having to wear mask(s) in public to avoid showing toxic emotions to others. However, masking only buries one’s truth until the pressure builds so much that a person’s emotions erupt like a volcano.
To heal from shame, one must become intimately involved with their emotional landscape. They must meet their emotions gentle and nonjudgmentally. They must ask what their emotions are trying to teach them. As one gain inner awareness they must embrace their thoughts and feelings rather than suppress them. Expression of “I am” rather than “I should” are clear signs of healing and self-growth. Finally, being willing to share one’s true self with other shows true self-acceptance. By working with a license therapist, a person can transform their feelings of guilt and shame into ones that empower and revitalize themselves and help inspire those around them.